My daughter is pure evil, she doesn’t listen to me at all. I am teaching her about what to do and what not to do and she doesn’t follow even single instruction:

• Don’t eat too much at night, while I am overweight
• Don’t watch tv at night, while I watch movies at night
• Manage your time well, while I am always in hurry for office
• Don’t worry about marks or results just give your best, while I worry about my year end rating all the time
• Talk to elders with respect, while I shout at house help and waiter all the time
• Read books, while I read magazines
• Don’t spend too much time on mobile, while I am always on Instagram
• Don’t be angry, while I shout at marketing guys on phone for calling me
• Keep your room clean while I throw my clothes all over house
• Be on time, while I am always late for family gatherings
• Make good friends, while I party and come home drunk every weekend
• Become independent, while I am failing to manage home budget
• Don’t worry about materialistic things, while I show anger when relatives give me gifts I don’t like
• Eat healthy, while I am always ordering pizza and burger for myself

I really don’t know how to maker her follow simplest of instructions.